Dear Future Husband,
I’m writing you this because I feel like there is something you need to know about the person I am right now as I sit here in my empty room with my Charlie Brown Christmas Tree the only light I have and White Iverson playing in my ears. I’m not going to be the same person I am when I meet you. You will forever change my life. I hope you understand just how much that means to me now, and when we meet. I hope you understand what you’re going to get into when you fall in love with me. Let me set a few things straight for you, that way we’re all on the same page and happy.
- I will decorate our house with a ton of Charlie Brown Christmas Trees.
- I will forever be the white girl blaring rap music in her car on the way to Starbucks in my Uggs and leggings.
- I will forever know all the words to any 90’s music. So be aware when any song comes on the radio, I will fully blast your eardrums, and sing along thinking I deserve to The Voice, when I shouldn’t even audition.
- Be prepared to watch QVC all day, every day.
- If you sing to me Die A Happy Man and play guitar to it, prepare for me to melt more than Olaf in Frozen.
- We will pray together, worship the Lord together, and go to church every Sunday.
- I will forever play PS4 with you while eating cereal at 3am.
- We will be a healthy couple, and challenge each other to be the best versions of ourselves we can.
- Be ready to take road trips every weekend, and get lost in God’s wonderful creation.
- Be prepared for me to love you until God calls us home to eternity. Be prepared to laugh every day, smile every day, and be forever together with someone who cherishes you more than you will ever know.
I hope you understand that you are getting involved with someone who thinks they can sing, but really can’t. You’re getting unlimited laughs for the rest of your life because let’s face it I’m the funniest person alive. Money wise though, you might wanna hide that from me because Starbucks and QVC will probably be the only things I will ever need it for but that’ll be about every minute of every day. I will though cherish you, love you, pray with you, challenge you to be the best version of yourself and forever stand by your side. I will listen to you, help you, forgive you when I’m mad at you and fight with you about how much I really do love you more. So be prepared for the greatest moments of your life when you meet me. God knows I’m more than ready to meet you. So when you do meet me, mention how much you love singing on a backroad with the windows down while you record everything on QVC because Starbucks has your favorite drink out right now. I’ll definitely know it’s you then. But before I end this letter, I just want to thank you for loving me in advance for all the stupidness you will embark, on my bad days, on my great days. I want to thank you for putting up with my singing in the car, in the shower, in the kitchen while cooking, pretty much anywhere I have music on. I want to thank you for pushing me to higher heights. I want thank you for just being there, and loving me through it all. I can’t wait to meet you. I hope you are as excited as I am because I can’t wait to sing to you in the car while driving a back road with our Starbucks in our hands and our dogs in the back seat. Oh, before I go, we will have like 10 Huskies and Blue/Red Heeler dogs. Just so you know ahead of time. Thank you for listening.
your slightly deranged dog loving Starbucks addict future Wife.